My Bad

"My bad." Easy to say on the soccer field, because at times it can be very apparent when you screw up. My heart broke as I watched the US Women's Soccer Team concede a goal because two people thought they were doing the right thing which turned out to be an unfortunate thing which turned out to be a goal for the wrong team...yep, heartbroken. Japan didn't really score on poor Hope Solo, her own team did. But whose bad was it? Was it the fault of the first girl or tried to clear the ball across the goal, or the second girl who stopped it and tried to clear it out the other way, or was it the keeper who should have yelled them off the ball because she could have grabbed it???? Ugh, painful to relive that moment. Now, you would think that we lost the game by one goal--that goal. No, oh no. We had plenty of chances to score. So, wait. Was it Abby Wambach's fault because her golden head missed by a few inches? Or Lauren Cheney's fault because she hit the cross bar, missing the goal by a couple of inches? Or should we list the names of the three women who didn't hit their penalty kicks in the shoot out? Wait, or was it the goal kick that should have been called a corner...ugh...still painful.

Truth is, we lost. We didn't win. That's it. Definitely some things we can learn from that game...don't panic might be one. The other big thing? Don't look at any one moment as the cause of the loss. Don't look at any one player as the scapegoat. It's over. It's done. Game on in another four years. But how many times do we relive each moment of some "bad" situation and try to find someone or something to blame? Does this ever change the outcome of the event? No! It's in the past. What will serve is finding out how I responded during the whole play. Did I do my job? How am I going to change my next reaction in that scenario? What was the benefit that I gained from even having that experience? Yes, losing is losing. And if you didn't when, you lost. I know, that is pretty profound. It isn't the goal to lose. But you better be clear on what you want to get out of it before you even start playing. And then be clear that each moment is going to get you to that result. Even if it is when you lose the battle, but make sure you don't lose the fight.

Now, on the other side of the ball, Japan did just that. They didn't have a brilliant game. They made sure they finished the game. They didn't panic, they just kept playing. They had some lapses in defense in the first half, not in the second. They knew the team they were playing. They knew the keeper that stood in their way. I'm sure they studied her and her tendencies in shoot outs. They kept playing, in spite of being the under dogs and the team that wasn't supposed to be there. And all of this in a year that Japan itself had seen heartache, disaster, confusion, but the people didn't stop. They continue to finish the game. Not blaming, just learning.

It's easy to say "My bad" on the soccer field. Not so easy in relationships, even harder at your job, worse when you made a mistake in front of your kids. But man, saying those words can open the door to creating a win from a loss. Learning to not make that move again the next time.

Quote of the day: "Failure happens all the time. It happens every day in practice. What makes you better is how you react to it." -- Mia Hamm


Anecdote of the day: My fiesty and impatient daughter once said during half time upon playing the first game of the season, "It's so boring...everyone just stands in a circle kicking the ball and I have to wait for it to come out." When I asked why she was waiting for it, why not just run into the circle and kick it out and go score, she replied, "OK." Within two minutes of getting back into the game, the bunch ball started and instead of waiting, she ran in, kicked the ball out and dribbled it and scored. Quick learner.